One of the doubts that most grips those who enter a non-monogamous lifestyle concerns the sphere of feelings: if it is true that practicing swinging can be very sexually exciting and satisfying for everyone, in fact, in many cases there is the fear that one’s partner may begin to feel something more for one of the playmates . So how do you keep feelings under control and not ruin everything?
Non-monogamous relationships: what risks for the sentimental part
Choosing to open up your own couple , whether it’s swinging or other forms such as polyamory or cuckoldism , is a very delicate passage for both partners, who in many cases arrive at this decision after years of monogamous relationship to add a pinch of pepper to one’s sexual sphere. A fear that can slow down this path, however, is that of being able to ruin years of marriage or engagement by letting a third person or another couple into one’s bed, adding the risk that the other may begin to experience different feelings. But are we sure that this is a real risk?
The answer is “it depends”: in fact, it is first of all necessary to understand how solid the couple is regardless of this choice and be aware of the fact that, if there are already problems and crunches, the level of risk can be the same even remaining in a condition of monogamy. Indeed, according to various researches, it is much easier to suffer a betrayal in a “traditional” couple than in an open one and the divorce rate linked to factors such as monotony and dissatisfaction is higher precisely among the so-called monogamous. It is equally evident, however, that in a couple that is already facing some difficulties, sexual openness cannot be a solution to fix things, but could actually make them worse. How to behave then?
Communication always comes first
When you decide to sexually open up the couple , you have to put communication first: being honest and sincere is in fact extremely fundamental in this step and every sensation experienced during the various experiences must be shared and discussed with the partner. The most solid swinger and open couples talk a lot, they exchange fantasies and intentions and face every feeling in two, strengthening their bond even more, and this becomes even more important if situations arise in which one of the partners seems to enjoy the experience more than the other. In this case, in fact, it is easy to feel “neglected” and come across negative emotions and it is important to address the topic immediately so that it can be made clear that the external participant cannot replace the partner.
The importance of rules
Swinging can be seen as a very exciting game, in which however it is essential to establish limits and rules not to be exceeded . This is one of the first secrets of the most satisfied open couples , who in this way base everything on shared choices and on a relationship of extreme honesty. If there are situations that could make you uncomfortable , people you prefer to avoid or other aspects that you think could ruin the game, it is good to clarify them immediately and thus create the best conditions for living the relationship correctly. Respect for shared rules can only promote fun while strengthening the relationship.
Can swingers be jealous?
Being jealous – to the right extent, of course – is certainly a symptom of interest and attraction for one’s partner and swinger couples are certainly not exempt from it , indeed sometimes this can even represent an element of greater excitement during sexual encounters. Seeing your partner enjoying and feeling desired can in fact accentuate the excitement, despite that slight “annoyance” motion given precisely by jealousy. However, the situation may be different if you notice an interest of a sentimental nature that bypasses the physical relationship: if you fear, in fact, that this could threaten the relationship, you need to immediately address the subject with the other personand look for a shared solution. Once again, therefore, communication and trust are central.
Learn to control emotions
Every human being experiences emotions and these are easy to heighten when sexual chemistry comes into play. The secret of an open and healthy swinger relationship is therefore not to let yourself be overwhelmed by them and to share with your partner all the feelings you experience before, during and after the meetings. Talking enthusiastically is certainly beautiful, but negative emotions are also part of the game and if for some reason we are feeling them, it is right to face them and understand why, transforming them into another opportunity for growth.